Finally got around to seeing Adventureland yesterday, which I enjoyed immensely. (The review will be posted on May 1st, right when ICON publishes it.) One of the reasons I enjoyed the movie was Kristen Stewart, who was sexy and lovably human as Jesse Eisenberg's love interest.
When I got home to write the review, a funny thought hit me. Kristen Stewart is only 19. I'll be 32 in August. Is there an age cut-off for reviewers to cite a young woman's sexiness? As time goes on, will I look more and more like the creepy old guy who visits the high school cheerleader charity carwash...in different filthy cars?
Then, I realized I was being a complete moron. Leave it to my hero Roger Ebert to shed some light on the matter. Ebert said that his job as a reviewer is to write how he felt honestly, whether he was aroused, scared, or whatever. That's reason number one.
Reason number two is that Stewart's character was supposed to be alluring, so she was doing her job. I doubt she had the following conversation with producer Sidney Kimmel.
Stewart: Look, I'll do the pool scene, but this is a teen movie, right?
Kimmel: Absolutely, no one over the age of 21--22 tops--will see it. It's the same guy who did Superbad.
Stewart: OK. I don't want too many old guys scoping me out.
The third thing is that I am not a dithering sexist. I can tell when a woman's physical attributes are being put to good use or being exploited (Amy Smart in Road Trip). Or when those attributes are all an actress brings to the equation--I'm talking to you Dame Judi Dench!
Also, Emma Roberts (Nancy frickin' Drew) and Evan Rachel Wood--combined age of 39--just posed for sexy photos for GQ.
So, in conclusion, I don't think I'm going to hell. Yeay!