Wednesday, March 25, 2009

There's a reason Babs is here. Honest.

My review of Richard Donner's 1980 suckfest Inside Moves just got posted on Please feel free to drop by and read the review, as it will justify the two hours I spent watching the film into the wee hours.

For those who haven't seen the movie, one of the plot points revolves around a former basketball star (David Morse) who has a bad leg. Through the magic of movies, his friend (John Savage) gets an NBA star (Harold Sylvester) to fund hoopster's surgery. The surgery is not only successful, but Morse's character gets the chance to play semipro ball. After like a week of torching also-rans, he gets an NBA contract.

Read that paragraph again.
Inside Moves didn't work for a number of reasons, but Morse's ascendency to the pros blew my mind to pieces. Bernard King--the best Knick before Ewing took over--spent years rehabbing from a horrific knee injury before getting back to his All-Star form, but Morse's character goes under the knife, hits a few long jumpers, and he's the Great White Hope...I like a feel-good story as much as the next guy, but come on.

With that in mind, I've come up with a list of other movie moments that completely destroyed the boundaries of credibility.

--Raul Julia and Sonia Braga playing Germans in The Rookie.
--Anthony Hopkins playing a black man in The Human Stain. (If I ruined the movie for you, sorry. You're not missing much. Read the book, I beg you.)
--Mimi Rogers playing Barbra Streisand's older sister in The Mirror Has Two Faces.
--Elisha Cuthbert playing a porn star in The Girl Next Door.
--Gene Hackman hooking up with Barbara Hershey, who treats him like dirt, in Hoosiers.
--Matt Damon turning down Famke Janssen in Rounders.

I'd love to hear your examples. Did I overlook something? Let me hear your comments!

1 comment:

Nick Cartagena said...

Hmmmm.... A little kid throwing 100 mph in Rookie of the Year

Angels helping the then dubbed California Angels win baseball games in Angels in the Outfield

Padme falling in love with Anakin after he told her he committed genocide against sandpeople

Forrest Gump running across the country for three years

That Randy Quaid storms into Rob Reiner’s radio talk show to insult him, and, as a result, gets a job offer to co-host the radio show and gets Janeane Garofalo to fall in love with him in Bye Bye Love.

That Rocky would be in a competitive fight against a current heavyweight champion in Rocky Balboa

That anyone, like Paul Giamatti, would hate Merlot that intensely in Sideways.