Feel free to say ass here...

I'm typically not a huge fan of watching movies on network TV, what with the commercials and the editing. Once in a while, I'll find myself drawn to a movie on WPIX or FOX5. Last week, I watched American Beauty, and was amazed at how well it played on TV. You got to hear the best resignation letter of all time ("My job consists of masking my contempt for the ass**** in charge...), see Mena Suvari prance in her undies, and get a heaping dose of Alan Ball's poetic misery. I couldn't have been happier.

Back at home today, I was doing job stuff while half-watching Legally Blonde. Keep in mind, that movie, along with American Beauty, played on the same station (WPIX-11) at roughly the same time (Saturday afternoon). Yet, an innocuous Reese Witherspoon comedy was edited to within an inch of its life. I was mystified. Kevin Spacey can talk about "masturbating about a life that doesn't so closely resemble hell," but Jennifer Coolidge can't talk about stretch marks on her ass or her ex-husband scratching his balls.

What's even more unusual is that American Beauty was playing during what's prime time for elementary school loafers. Who made the decision to put that movie on that time slot? Also, does each station edit feature films, or do they come dubbed from the studio? How could two films playing on the same station get such different treatments.

If anyone knows the answer to either of those questions, please drop a line. I'm intrigued.