At some point, I'm going to write a handbook on going to the movies. And it won't be just for the younger crowd, but for everyone. They'll all be sent like jury notices.
Case in point. I went to see a screening of Revoutionary Road with the girlfriend last week at Nassau Theater in Princeton, a small art house theater. Typically, the crowds there are well-behaved and mid-sized, usually. Last Saturday afternoon was a huge crowd, so seating was tight. For these folks, the latest Kate Winslet movie is like Iron Man opening at the mall.
Seated next to us was an older couple, probably in their seventies, who proceeded to talk loudly from the coming attractions into the movie, like they were recording a commentary track. And it was stupid stuff like, "Look at the suits they're wearing" and "Oh, they were together in Titanic."
Eventually, I told them--civilly, of course--to shut their pie holes. But the whole affair bothered me. They're older, so they should know better. And they ignored a key movie rule, which I've just now created.
Rule #1: At the movies, you can only talk audibly when there's a three-seat area surrounding you, not when you're packed flank to flank. If the area is smaller, you may whisper occasionally to the person sitting next to you. Violation of the rules will result in death.
I have a feeling this rule may be broken flagrantly in the coming years, as home entertainment systems and cable TV become more prominent, and people can't separate their public behavior from their home behavior. Not good.
The good news is that I can give senior citizens and 10-year-olds the business. I'm the friggin' man.
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